Monday, March 24, 2014

goodnight. sleep tight.

Antiques Roadshow is finally on (after a marathon three hours of  Nick Jr. which consisted of  five Peppa Pig
episodes, two Dora the Explorer episodes, and the majority of one Bubble Guppies episode). I have the tea kettle on and I'm sitting here thinking about what it takes to get my kids to bed.

It's changed over time. Dom used to require an endless loop of Baby Einstein. Andrew needed a humidifier about an inch and a half from his face. Makenna needed mausoleum-level silence, and Riley needed me sleeping in the bed next to her.

But lately?

Dom and Andrew require a simple rhyme:

"I love you once.
I love you twice.
I love you more...
than beans and rice!"

But when I tuck Andrew in, I need to put in a few rounds of mistakes. It might sound something like this...

"I love you once.
I love you twice.
I love you more...
than pizza and beer!

("Noooo, mom!")

"Ok...I love you more
than chips and dip!"


"Hmmm. I love you more


"Ok, ok, ok. I've got it.
I love you more
than beans and rice!"

("Yes! Goodnight...finally!")

With Dom, he takes the rhyme correctly the first time (and yes, he still wants me to say it), but I have to roll him in his blankets like a Dom-rrito (his word, not mine) and bounce him on the bed as I say it. Our dog gets a little silly at that point and lays on top of the kid.

Makenna is a simple girl now. She needs her Olivia blanket draped just so over the top of her comforter. She needs her curls tucked out of her eyes. And most importantly, she needs to be promised that I will take her to the mall in the morning.

For the record, I haven't been to the mall in months--but she still requires the promise every night. "What do you want to do tomorrow, Makenna?"

"The mall!"

And Riley, well, Riley wants to contribute to the mall vote as well, but more importantly she waits for me to lean down to give her a nighttime smooch. When I'm close enough (and she can contain her giggles) she rips through the silence with a loud PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Peeing on me.

She drifts off to sleep each night after pretending to pee like a boy. On me.

Who's the lucky gal?

Sweet dreams!

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