he's...different.

i have a kid in my life that i'm not going to name. or identify, really. just know that he's 10 and he loves art and he's not my son.

over the past year, he's tried my patience.

he couldn't sit still. never got more than a few words down at a time before buzzing around the room knocking things over. laughing at everything and nothing. ripping paper apart when forced to sit still. making up nonsense jokes just to try to make the kids around him laugh and lose focus.

he was that kid for the majority of the year.

today he was...different.

he stayed at his desk, pencil moving. doing what i was asking. asking questions that were relevant instead of talking just to keep me by his desk a little longer.

there was a prize up for grabs, so he concentrated extra hard and constantly asked for my feedback.

but he was...different.

more than once, i asked if he was okay.

was he sad? was something bothering him? was someone mean to him during lunch? was he sick?

no, no, no and no.

i mentioned to his teacher how much he'd concentrated on his work and how different he seemed and she nodded.

"medication," she said.

that's all she said. she didn't approve of it, she didn't condemn it. she simply stated fact and went back to the chaotic business of being a teacher.

for the entire ride home, my mind's been circling around the change in him and what's caused it and no matter how hard i try, i can't find entry into the puzzle or how i'd react if he were my son.

i can't decide how i feel.

is it better now that he's not a major disruption for the class? was he better when his personality was larger than life?

i don't know.

i don't know.

i am just grateful that i've never had to make a decision like that and i pray for the ones who do--the parents and teachers who must decide who needs to be less "you" and more "us" and how much.

what dosage yields enough "us" with plenty of "you" left?

do they miss the energy? are they grateful that now they can concentrate on the quieter students who weren't so demanding?

i don't know.

and

i pray for them.

Make Like Billy Madison...

And head back to school.

Last week I got my school assignment. I've got a new district, but I'm staying with 4th graders. Yaaaay! I have a soft spot for them...Boy Wonder being one himself and all. Yep, I'm biased.

To start each assignment off, we have a sitdown meeting with the teachers I'll be working with, a member of the WITS office, and myself. It's a short time to get to know each other, get a feel for what the teachers are looking for in the coming weeks and a chance to familiarize myself with the school.

I should jump in and say that I was 20 minutes late to the meeting despite leaving my house 90 minutes ahead of time. I-10 hosed me, ya'll. It HOSED me. What a great first impression I must have made...

This year, instead of four teachers, I have two. Two super nice, extra gentle fourth grader ELA teachers. Is it silly that the nice ones scare me more than the more stand-offish ones do?

Their biggest concern this year is adding voice to the students' work. It makes sense. Most of what their learning is aimed for the annual standardized test in the spring and it seems the rubrics are getting more rigid. Kids are getting dinged for not having enough "voice" in their essays...even the dreaded expository. (Barf.)

I've been thinking long and even longer about how to teach kids what their writing "voice" is. I have no clue where mine comes from and I'm pretty sure that it changes depending on the material and whether or not I got enough sleep. It might even lean on the amount of gas in my truck, truth be told.

It's such a vague notion, isn't it? How do you teach someone how to sound like an individual when they're taught to answer the same thing, the same way, every single time throughout their education. We're creating a generation of test drones, but we want these test drones to have an individual voice inside the 34 lines provided. But then go back to having the exact same answer as everyone else.

Luckily, the awesome teachers get to figure that part out, god bless 'em. I get to show up, make them laugh with my Lumpy Space Princess impression and let them go HAM on the paper, no rules, no censoring, just writing.

But here we are. Tomorrow is week one. We're concentrating on voice.

I'm goin' in folks...

...happy happy happy...