Monday, October 5, 2009

..."here comes the happy ending" update...t-minus six weeks and counting

Yes, we are less than six weeks from the big day. I can hardly believe it sometimes. We should be panicked, shouldn't we? We should. I know we should.

But we're not.

So far, I have bought snazzy invitations (no, those to the left are not my invitations, so you'll totally be surprised when they show up in your mailbox. Don't try to read the photo for pertinent info...that's not our wedding. Be there Nov. 14 at 7 p.m., ok?) to send to our family and friends, but the printer folks seemed to assume that I'm using carrier pigeons and not envelopes to deliver them. Yes, they sent me invites with no envelopes. Thanks, guys.

But hey, I promise they're totally cute and brown and swirly and Autumn-y and you'll totally get yours as soon as those crazy printer people send envelopes and one of us makes it to the post office to buy stamps. I hate buying stamps. Seriously.

Along with the "hey you should show up" notices, I got my dress. Well, that's the rumor anyway. Supposedly it showed up at the house today, but since P's not the excitable, call you with all the gossipy details and gush over the phone how AWESOME the dress is, I figured I'd just open it when I get home.

I'm so excited about the dress. SO. Excited. About every little thread, button, and detail...everything EXCEPT that ever-lovin' size tag. What is with bridal gowns?

Is it some sick joke to make these over-priced, fouffy pieces of nonesense two sizes smaller than the actual tag, so crazy-bride-lady has to swallow any semblance of dignity and pride and order a few sizes up? What the hell?

Since when was a size 8 dress equivalent to a size 00 jeans? Just curious...

I hate you, bridal gown manufacturers. I hate you for making tulle so abundant and I hate you for feeding the body-hate machine in the mirror. No wonder that blood-thirsty, ass-kickin' maniac in "Kill Bill" was aptly named "The Bride." I get it now.

And no, that dress to the right isn't mine. Mine is made with thread and chiffon, not pencil lead. I hope, anyway. I'll let you know tonight if I go home and find a different story.

Still to go: flowers, cake, desserts, rings, marriage license, fashion for the gentlemen, fashion for the ladies, reception logistics, rehearsal dinner logistics, ceremony music logistics, money, centerpieces, hotel room, money, money, and oh... money.

Hehe...I so funny somtimes...

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