the week i turn another corner

i'm pretty sure you can say you're 35 and people will consider you "mid-30s" and that's not so old.

but when you say 36, at least in my mind, you're basically a sneeze away from 40 and unless you're penelope cruz, 40's gonna look and feel no longer in my 30s.

but i'm okay with 36. honestly.

i'm fairly certain that my birthday will come and go this sunday with a wreck-it-ralph cake, hopefully a subscription to paula deen's new super looking cooking membership-based website (check it out! remember how paula deen is on my bucket list? i loves her so.), and maybe an i.o.u. for a new camera (any picture taking technology in my life broke within the last week and a half and while we don't have the finances for a replacement, at least i'd like the PROMISE of one in the next fifty years. *wink!*)

i had a freakish meltdown a few weeks before 35 last year when i found a few gray hairs lurking. holy moly did that throw me...

but this year? meh....i'm not so scared.

i've spent the past week thinking about THINGS. things in all caps are serious THINGS. things like what i've liked about the past 35 years of my life and what i want moving forward. recipes i might want to try. people i might want to be. bright orange jeeps i might want to drive from now on (there's one on the way to elkton i want SO bad.)

and at the end of all the THING thinking, i decided that i wanted to be notorious for something really soon.

only i'm not sure what i want to be notorious for yet.

my ability to down 8 gallons of coffee a day?
my impeccable folk art collection from local flea markets?
my cow whispering abilities?
being super loud at inappropriate moments?

they're all possibilities and i don't really see any rule anywhere that says i have to have my answer submitted before my birthday on sunday. just know i'm planning on some notoriety sometime soon.

i've also spent the week on another really exciting project.

after soul searching and hemming and hawing about what i wanted to be when i grew up and how i wanted to go about publishing this series of books i've written that i love so much...i decided that my calling is to go the independent route.

i have lots of reasons for that--mostly centered around the fact that i don't think having a copy of a book on a barnes and noble shelf in suburban minnesota is my definition of success. waiting 18 months between books (assuming the volatile nature of publishing will love you that long) isn't something i care to hedge on, either.

on this indie journey i'll embark on (starting monday), i'm wading in the waters of taking control of your own finances and future and success and making decisions for yourself. i'm not deluded and i know i won't make millions like other self-pub darlings, but that's not what i'm setting out to do.

i want to support my family and make a career of writing books i love that people will read. i want readers, not tons of dollars (though some dollars would be great).

anyway, stick around. on monday my life gets pretty interesting and, i hope, more exciting.

on a side note, i had planned on spending july writing this micro-memoirs about all my exciting years but the plans sort of fell apart when the 9 to 5 got busy. i'll fill the holes in, though. don't you worry. just not right away.

i hope you're having a great summer in your neck of the woods.

...happy happy happy...