In my mind, it was going to go something like this:
On an quiet, well-fed and humidity-free morning, I'd leave my perfectly cleaned house after kissing my perfectly dressed and groomed children goodbye. I'd arrive at the hospital, sign a form or two, blink, and have a perfect ninja baby #4. My hair would still be neat and clean and sprayed into place and I'd be zipping up my pre-pregnancy jeans by 4 p.m.
We'd be home by dinner because, in my perfect world, Texas hospitals don't make you stay over night and fight with intrusive, blood-pressure checking nurses who wake up your baby at 2 a.m. for fun. Said baby #4 would sleep through 'til morning starting that first magical night home. What's more? She'd tutor her older brother and sister in organic chemistry and share the secrets of a perfect, flaky pie crust with me after changing her own diapers. No, she'd be potty trained by day 2... in my mind.
But what really happened?
I hit 36 weeks last week and went in for a normal checkup to find things not so normal.
First, an infection and antibiotics out the wa-zoo. Then severe anemia and iron supplements out the wa-zoo. Do you know how miserable iron supplements are? I'm pretty sure they're served as appetizers in the fourth circle of hell...
So, with a giant-headed child firmly entrenched right side up, the doctor scheduled a c-section for the end of the month. I'd like to say I took it all in stride and saw the bright side right away, but the truth is, I was deflated and really, really overwhelmed. I still am.
C-sections terrify me, I mean, really, really scare me. Sawing into my abdomen, yanking out a child, and sewing it all back up together again? Sounds scarier than my collection of zombie DVDs. And less fun than a root canal performed in the back of a pickup truck driving 90 down a bumpy dirt road. (I have imagination for days, ya'll!!)
I've been spoiled with my kids so far. I'm back on the mat within a week or so and I'm free to workout and push strollers to parks and cavort to my heart's content. But the word on the street after c-sections? Weeks and weeks of painful recovery. Immobility. Taking it easy. Not lifting, running, jumping, bouncing....any of that. I mean, have you met my family?? We aren't exactly the calm, sedated types and the thought that I'm going to need help to get out of bed for a few weeks makes me cry. And pout. And wallow. And roll around in the mud of my mind like a little piggy.
I know, I know...put on the big girl panties and get going already. Truth be told, this has been one easy pregnancy. I skipped the entire first trimester, never felt much discomfort. We moved to Texas in month seven and a half and this little ninja child never once complained or gave me much grief. And I guess when I said all my prayers for a healthy, happy child, I agreed to take her however God chose to hand her off to me--"bikini cut" scars and all. Just part of the small price for such a beautiful family the mister and I have been blessed with.
Still...how long do you have to hold a pillow over your abdomen when you cough or sneeze to avoid blowing out stitches?? Yikes...just not sure how ready I am to be an invalid for the rest of the summer, no matter how accepting of the way things are I am. Pray for us!
Happy Summer!
I understand your disappointment. I had to get one at the last minute (felt like a failure) and now, because this county doesn't allow for VBACs, I have no choice but to get another. Don't be too afraid. The aftermath is painful, I won't lie, but within a couple of weeks, I was moving about relatively comfortably. Sneezing, coughing, laughing? I don't recommend those. They gave me a band that squeezes tight around my abdomen, so the spillage worry? Just a worry. Oddly enough, the thought of a natural birth scares me more. Guess we are less afraid of what we know. I'll be thinking of you! You'll do great.
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