A long, long time ago when I worked at a newspaper in town here, I was a community reporter. That meant I covered Eagle Scouts, Bowling Tournaments. Quilting Bees...you get it. The only part of the job that really didn't make me want to swallow a fork was when I got to profile people (instead of previewing upcoming events or doing wrap-ups.) Focusing on people and asking them ridiculous questions was kinda the whole reason, y'know, that I got into journalism.
But most newspaper sections are more interested in events and less into non-famous people. And trust me, in Alaska, there is a shortage of the famous and an abundance of the non-famous. I didn't get to do as many profiles as I'd like to.
So I do what anyone would do and start a blog. Where I'm the emperor. I'm the president. I'm the king. (Or queen. Whatever.) I run this shiz-nit. And with that, I can interview and profile as often as I can find a willing victim.
Case in point: my captive audience--Boy Wonder. BW sat through a grueling two-minute interview with the blog recently. Here are some highlights.
Le Drole Corbeau (LDC): Hey there, Boy Wonder. How are you?
Boy Wonder (BW): Fine.
LDC: So, I'd really like to...
BW: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?
LDC: In a minute... I've got some hard-hitting questions for you. I've been practicing all day.
BW: But I'm hungry...
LDC: In a damn minute, kid. So, here we go. How old are you?
BW: You're my mom. You should know.
LDC: You ever want a snack again...like as in the rest of your life??
BW: I'm five. (Holds up four fingers.)
LDC: What do you want to be when you grow up?
BW: A motorcycle.
LDC: ??? Wha...?
BW: They go really speed. And they have a lot of colors. I want to be a green one. With black stripes.
LDC: I remember when you wanted to be a pirate, dude.
BW: Pirates aren't real. They're only pretend on the Disney movies.
LDC: They are, too, real.
BW: Nuh-uh.
LDC: Yeah-huh. Read about Somalia lately, player?
BW: I want a snack.
LDC: What else do you want? If you could have anything in the world.
BW: A HotWheels. And a girlfriend.
LDC: A whaaaaaaat?
BW: HotWheels. Probably a monster truck with big...
LDC: No, no, no. The other thing.
BW: Oh. (*grins*) I want a girlfriend.
LDC: Why would you want one of those?
BW: Some kids at daycare have them. I want one, too.
LDC: Why? What's so great about girlfriends?
BW: Well, they give you stuff.
LDC: Like what?
BW: Like the food at lunch that you don't want to eat.
LDC: What else do girlfriends do?
BW: Hmmm...they come over to your house...
LDC: Watch it, kid.
BW:...they play, they make you laugh, you have a snack, and then they go back where they came from.
LDC: Really?
BW: Yep. They always go home. But little brothers don't.
LDC: Nope, they sure don't.
(Here ends the interview.)
But most newspaper sections are more interested in events and less into non-famous people. And trust me, in Alaska, there is a shortage of the famous and an abundance of the non-famous. I didn't get to do as many profiles as I'd like to.
So I do what anyone would do and start a blog. Where I'm the emperor. I'm the president. I'm the king. (Or queen. Whatever.) I run this shiz-nit. And with that, I can interview and profile as often as I can find a willing victim.
Case in point: my captive audience--Boy Wonder. BW sat through a grueling two-minute interview with the blog recently. Here are some highlights.
Le Drole Corbeau (LDC): Hey there, Boy Wonder. How are you?Boy Wonder (BW): Fine.
LDC: So, I'd really like to...
BW: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?
LDC: In a minute... I've got some hard-hitting questions for you. I've been practicing all day.
BW: But I'm hungry...
LDC: In a damn minute, kid. So, here we go. How old are you?
BW: You're my mom. You should know.
LDC: You ever want a snack again...like as in the rest of your life??
BW: I'm five. (Holds up four fingers.)
LDC: What do you want to be when you grow up?
BW: A motorcycle.
LDC: ??? Wha...?
BW: They go really speed. And they have a lot of colors. I want to be a green one. With black stripes.
LDC: I remember when you wanted to be a pirate, dude.
BW: Pirates aren't real. They're only pretend on the Disney movies.
LDC: They are, too, real.
BW: Nuh-uh.
LDC: Yeah-huh. Read about Somalia lately, player?
BW: I want a snack.
LDC: What else do you want? If you could have anything in the world.
BW: A HotWheels. And a girlfriend.
LDC: A whaaaaaaat?
BW: HotWheels. Probably a monster truck with big...
LDC: No, no, no. The other thing.
BW: Oh. (*grins*) I want a girlfriend.
LDC: Why would you want one of those?
BW: Some kids at daycare have them. I want one, too.
LDC: Why? What's so great about girlfriends?
BW: Well, they give you stuff.
LDC: Like what?
BW: Like the food at lunch that you don't want to eat.
LDC: What else do girlfriends do?
BW: Hmmm...they come over to your house...
LDC: Watch it, kid.
BW:...they play, they make you laugh, you have a snack, and then they go back where they came from.
LDC: Really?
BW: Yep. They always go home. But little brothers don't.
LDC: Nope, they sure don't.
(Here ends the interview.)
Awesome. No, really, Awesome.
ReplyDelete