Thursday, January 21, 2010

To Boy Wonder: On the Occasion of His First Boneheaded Stunt

The edition where P and I try to convince you that movies are fake and real life can sometimes hurt.

You are an amazing little man, but sometimes the things that come out of your mouth simply astound us. Not that you're doing anything wrong, it's just that they reiterate the fact that you are in fact a boy now. Not a baby. Not a preschooler. A boy.

And boys do stupid things. You are supposed to, it's your rite of passage. We expect it. Someday, P will share with you all the bone-headed things he did.

I just don't think we were expecting you to stick your tongue to the basketball hoop pole so soon. We knew something was up with your soft lisp and the gnarly looking bottom lip you were sporting in the truck yesterday, but I chalked it up to a severe need for some Chapstick. But when P ran into the grocery store, and you told me what you'd done and how embarrased you were, it all made sense. When I asked you "What on Earth would possess you to do that?" you shrugged and told me you'd seen it on "A Christmas Story" and wanted to know if it was true.

(Oh, curse you TBS and your 24-straight hours of Flick-induced peer pressure!)

Listen, little man...we've all stuck our tongue on the proverbial frozen pole. Don't sweat it. Just please, next time you think you might want to test whether something you've seen on TV is true or not...just don't. Save your mama the grey hairs and ignore that impulse.

Love you love you...


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