Friday, October 24, 2014

a brain of his very own (the only thing i could ask for)

my posts usually don't need disclaimers, but this one might.

please, if you're sensitive to political issues...if you've got your ideals and you hold them tightly to your chest and you're not interested in hearing others' points of view, please...tread lightly. 

this is not a post for you.

this is a post for my oldest son, actually.

last night, our younger son, all of five, was doing what little boys do. he walked up to his dad and said "dad will you marry me?" patrick laughed.

i was his next intended "mom, you'll marry me, right?"

and then he saw his older brother.

"bubba, will you marry me?"

dom replied that he couldn't.

andrew nodded, like he understood.

"boys shouldn't marry boys, right?"

dom looked right at me and i knew he felt caught.

 he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to his younger brother.

what was appropriate and what wasn't?

 i'd explained to him before that there were laws being passed all over the country that allowed same-sex couples to get married and that some states still didn't allow it. some people felt adults should be free to marry who they want and others felt that marriage was strictly for a man and a woman.

i tried very hard not to push my personal preferences on him and hopefully, i'm still not.

hopefully, when he wonders what my opinions are, he has to ask me for them.

hopefully, he won't have had my opinions smashed on top of his head his entire life to the point that when it's time for him to think and make decisions on his own, he's suddenly unable to think for himself.

so he looked at me and i shrugged...opening the door for his own response to his brother's question.

"boys should marry who they love, Boo," he said as we went up the stairs. "i can't marry you because we're brothers. families can't get married."

i left it at that and the conversation quickly turned to how excited they were about today's field trips.

but as i came back downstairs and settled into a book, i was a little overcome with how proud i was of that boy for forming his own opinion and sticking with it.

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