what i did that day (10.15.14)

when i woke up: 

5:25 a.m.

morning:

it was a typical wednesday morning, minus the breakfast because we were mostly out.

funny how that happens, isn't it? one minute, you've got full boxes of cereal. turn around, and it's gone.

 mostly you find out it's gone the moment you're trying to feed four kids their favorite cereal, too.

the drive to take the boys to school was rainy. in fact, it rained most of the day. but that's okay. it actually worked with how the day, or the morning, went.

i drove the 40 minutes into harrisonburg. i punched the code into the door lock. i walked the 14 steps to the second floor newsroom.

and then i packed every trace of myself from that place into two boxes (holy crap, how can i shove that much stuff into one tiny desk?)...

and i left.

the story is longer than i care to work through here, but it was necessary and it was liberating and terrifying all at the same time.

i've never walked off a job like that. i've never had to.

but this one?

 i had to.

it was pouring rain while i waited outside for my boss and after a few minutes, i figured it was starting to look like something out of a cheesy romance flick (which is hilarious if you had any clue of the stature/nature of the guy i was waiting on) so i got in my truck and i left.

i drove off.

(i eventually wrote him an email explaining and saying goodbye. i don't think i'll ever check that work email again...there's nothing that management could possibly say that would make that situation better. and i doubt they'd say anything to make it better anyway.)

i picked up coffee from the martin's grocery store on the way home. i struggled with the urge to tell everyone i met that i'd just walked off the world's most racist/sexist/backwards job on the planet.

 i also wanted to tell them to try to jelly donuts in the bakery because they smelled ah-may-zing.

donuts, ya'll.

afternoon:

using what was left of a chicken i roasted yesterday (why does cold, next-day chicken always look so much weirder than straight-from-the-oven chicken?), i made a chicken noodle soup for patrick, the girls and me.

 true to form, the girls told me it looked yucky and they wanted to eat powdered donuts instead.

given the strange place i was in, i shrugged and gave them their powdered donuts. (pls don't judge.)

i picked up about 100 tiny child socks off the floor and paced around. unsure of whether now was the time to start preparing for the next phase of life or whether it was time to watch funny cat videos on Vine.

cat fails prevailed.

we picked the boys up from school and somewhere in there it dawned on me that this would be my new reality. i'd now have the freedom to pick my boys up whenever i wanted. holy cow.

evening:

patrick made us all pancakes, despite being short one egg and overdoing the vanilla a bit. i didn't mind the vanilla and just because i could, i sprayed the whipped cream extra high on mine. i also popped open the small maple leaf container of maple syrup that my brother made. my mom brought it to me this summer. i thought about my mom and my dad--knowing today was his day off.

i wondered where they ate for dinner. they always eat awesome dinners out.

i put the girls to bed and played a little sudoku on my tablet. i won't tell you how many times i used the cheat button because it was a lot. i swear the "easy" level on my app is programmed by demons.

netflix isn't working down here now as i type this, so that means i'll probably have to actually write the last few chapters of book two instead of watching the first season of Vikings for, like, the 90th time. i might have a thing for rollo now that you mention it...

mostly i'll think of how scared i was this morning when i woke up. how scared i was packing my things into those boxes.

and how not scared i am anymore.

when i went to bed: 

???