Sunday, October 12, 2014

ninja gnome confession: i water the office plants with your coffee creamer

mostly, i want you to know that the amount of your expensive creamer i dump in the office plant has a direct correlation to how long you hold me hostage chastising me in all your pompous a#$ery for never having watched "shane" in my free time.

i love watching the internal dialogue of whether or not you really drank that much half & half in three days or not play out on your face.

i should feel remorse, but mostly i feel like my english breakfast tea tastes way better when i have my very own, evil secret to keep all to myself.

you'll recover, of course. and buy new creamer. but your plant? it's not looking so great...

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