Wednesday, May 15, 2013

down in the dumps(ter)

in the midst of some moments, i wonder if anybody i know has ever experienced something like this. in a good way...

and in the midst of some OTHER moments, i wonder if anybody i know has ever experienced something like this. in a not good way...

i had an endorsed paycheck in  my hot little hands and i sprinted out the door with makenna to make it to the branch and back again so i'd have time to spare to hang out with p before he left for a saturday afternoon  mma class.

did you catch that, right there?

i was hurrying.


no good ever comes from that and it just so happens that my inability to pay attention when i'm in a hurry landed me in a dumpster.

house. truck. quick stop off at the apartment complex dumpster to dump the bags in the back and do a quick truck cab cleanup. bank.

i arrived at the bank with no check perched on the seat beside me as it had been when i pulled out of my parking spot.

i'm not sure if it was the reality of our dismal bank account numbers that spurred me to such desperate action or if it was my pride. i really didn't want to tell p that i'd lost yet another important item in my haste.

so i hoisted myself into the chute, tiptoed around coffee grounds and dusty old cat litter to perch myself on the lip of the foot on the ledge and the other on somebody's else's bag of trash while i pushed around the disgusting mess with a water bottle i PRAYED came from our house.

it was there. right THERE that i was pretty certain nobody i knew had ever found themselves in a dumpster wading through used sticky, gummy detergent bottles that left blue trails of slime on my poor yoga pants and orange peels covered in mold in search on one very specific piece of paper.

i jumped out at some point, ran home to confess my crime and to enlist my 9 year old to stand guard in case anyone we knew happened to drive by.

begrudgingly, he stood outside the 100 degree can of funk and complained, loudly, every few seconds about how it smelled like a butt.

i reminded him that i was the one INSIDE the butt can and to keep his negativity to himself.

i wish i could say i was successful. either in finding the check or pinpointing somebody i knew who had lived through a similar moment. but i wasn't...

the story ends with a really long shower, gallons of hand sanitizer, and a new check that P put directly into my wallet for me.

the end.

p.s....i still rush. a lot. it's only a matter of time before i'm back in there looking for my wedding ring or the kids' birth certificates. just wait...


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